taking the training wheels off

there's a gulf in my mind with your name on it. i keep myself busy and try to stay away from the edge.

The Butcher - Final Fantasy

new crush




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new project
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the embarrassment is gone but the mix remains!

some popes are evil!
act three of this week's TAL made me laugh for about half a mile running from the tennis courts (across from the statue) to the new academy of sciences (passing by the back) - not just chuckling, but full on i-don't-care-if-tourists-are-staring-while-i-run-and-laugh laughing. check it out.

in other news, facebook is actually good for something since someone just posted a story that oakland's parkway is closing - i think i've only seen one or maybe two movies here, but man watching the departed there with steve and chris while stoned out of my mind was one of the most fun moments i've had in the past five years. if i recall, steve laughed each time someone got shot, especially if they got shot in the face. we both giggled each time anthony anderson was on screen. and you've never quite seen a movie until you've heard black folks yelling back at the screen - e.g. "why'd he do that?" "damn."

since you asked

i had a bad night
i had a bad night of drinking and mikey had to drive me home (i puked two blocks from the apt).

this morning i had to pick up my car where mikey parked it next to rossi playground. mike left my keys on your dining table, and i used my old set of keys to get in. i haven't used those keys since you left. i was overwhelmed with the memories of opening your front door, walking through your mirrored foyer, going up the stairs and thinking about you the entire 20 seconds. by that i mean i would think about you the entire way, each time i walked through there, not just this morning. i would think about what you were doing in the apartment, what your mood was like, did i look presentable, etc.

i know the sound all my various shoes make on those stairs, and this was the familiar slap of my sneakers. i was wearing my onitsuka tigers (asics) which i used to wear all the time on the weekends when we'd walk around, also the same pair i wore that night we first slept together five years ago, which mike found as evidence the next morning in your dwight st. apt. they were new shoes then.

i got to know the sound of you coming up the stairs as well, listening from your bed right next to the stairs. you like to bound up if you were wearing sneakers, skipping a few at a time if you were in a good mood - though you'd walk up step by step if you were reading your mail or wearing dress shoes or not in a good mood.

i walked down your hallway and remembered all the smells from other apts - popcorn, sometimes bacon, or chicken. we'd try to guess what was cooking.

i opened your front door and remembered you told me to ring the bell first in case mikey was home instead of just busting in. i forgot to do that this time, it's been so long. i apologized to calvin, but he seemed cool about it.

i grabbed the keys and walked to my car. on the walk up anza, i remembered how you'd walk me to my car on sunday nights, usually in your pajama pants and hoodie, and how you sometimes didn't want to walk me but i made you, and you'd carry my overnight bag. how i had to park in that quiet dead end street when i couldn't find other parking, and how you said it was a nice place to park though it was farther. sometimes you wouldn't walk me if we were fighting or if you were sleeping.

i see you everywhere, i think of you every day, i love you every moment.

'THOSE DAYS ARE OVER'

email from vilar (she puts it better than i can):

subject: Re: regrettable burrito

wow, yes. i can't believe i almost ate the whole thing. ugh. i fell asleep in my clothes and woke up at 4am dehydrated and still drunk. i don't know if i remember really enjoying the burrito either. i do remember spilling a lot of salsa.

you know it's bad when popping out your contacts before collapsing in bed seems too strenuous.

saucony winter leauge began last night, and this means 1) the partying now starts on wednesday and 2) you're guaranteed to go home way too drunk. this was the case in the summer when we played various games at dolores park and then headed to a bar afterwards; it must be doubly true now that the games are held inside bars (eliminating the physical exertion part).

notables from doc's clock and afterparty:
-way too many hyphen people (16 on the team this time!)
-'why does harry [the editor in chief] always have two drinks in his hands?'
-mikey's michael krasny impression
-superfluous, regrettable detour to mission bar before farolito
-rolls royce
-comparing clarks wallabees

check out my runs - i run way slower at the gym than in the park - i think i am still psyched out by the treadmill (fear of eating it while running fast)
when there are two runs in one day (usually one long run and one very short run) it means i was fiddling with my ipod too much (trying to rewind podcast) while running and accidentally ended the workout - apple, please fix in next generation

in translation

things explained to my european guests last night:

-LOLcats
-in n out's cult following
-what a douchebag is
-what a mashup is (we went to bootie) - tho i thought that concept originated in the UK?
-how much to slip the girl at the door to bypass the line (it worked! and it was about 20 percent of the cover)
-that steel container in my backseat was my water bottle (klean kanteen) and no you can't make a bong out of it

things explained to me:
-skiing is more elegant and graceful than snowboarding
-people from holland don't think we're prudes about drugs here, but are always looking for the similar minded
-in holland they smoke everyday - yet still may not be able to roll a j (!!!)

if marc says hot pink

then hot pink it is

also loving chris kane

one of my favorite times' blogs is proof. lots of insight from those who have spent a lot of time around alcohol and can write about it thoughtfully. highly recommend.

the other one that's high on my google reader list is the moment, the blog for the times' style magazine. lots of cool little readable features here, like scorecard and the hi-lo.

MICK LOVES HIS LIL SMOKIES

I DIE! I DIE! I DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today's obsession: kate lanphear
next haircut: kate lanphear
fashion blog j'adore: jak & jil

[ click to zoom ]



From Monument To Masses
Noise Pop 2009

with special guests Crime in Choir and Built for the Sea

FMTM will be making an all-too rare SF appearance—the first since December 1, 2007—at the annual Noise Pop Festival in anticipation of the band's long-awaited fourth album entitled "On Little Known Frequencies" (March 10, 2009).

SHOULDER SWIVELING
my room on saturday mornings looks as if i have been robbed. the level of drunkness on thursday and subsequently friday is indicated by:

- whether the clothes are on the ground, thrown into the closet, still on the bed, or all three (trifecta!)
- whether the aforementioned piles of clothes are mysteriously damp with what i hope is water or rain (smell test results inconclusive)
- whether there is an empty plate next to my bed or whether there are nine uneaten tater tots on the plate
- whether i am still wearing my makeup from the previous night and find odd traces of eyeliner on my upper arms
- whether my forehead is tender from banging it on the floor (in a non-falling related incident)

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8 tracks i've been into this month - still trying to figure out the best method for embedding music here, bear with me

murakami on lying and novelists

Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders. The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling lies. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?

My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies -- which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true -- the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it. In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form. In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.

SO STEVE
steve: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stephenchung/3292418202/
ive spent $6 so far trying to win it
i think the lobster is just too heavy

me: omg i thought you meant a plush lobster

steve: real lobster
it fights back too
its a bit inhumane i guess

lay the real thing on me
it rained all night and in the morning there was a strange stillness.

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there are moments at bars when, through the chatter, the peanuts, the clinking ice, the bitten straws and mikey's maniacal laughter, i can faintly hear a song that i have forgotten that i love. i shall share with you as and when this happens.

from homestead last night -

Moonage Daydream - David Bowie

really moving since you asked column

'...for the desire, even in the face of death, to set down, for readers still unborn, all the sweetness of our common life.'

..the sexual explicitness that he pioneered in American fiction was additive, ameliorative—the one thing that had been left undescribed, a piece of the world’s experience previously unfixed. Compared with more obvious pioneers of sex writing, how blended his descriptions are into a larger world of memory: sex in Updike happens not in a stripped-down theatre of two but in a coliseum of many, part of the continuum of sensation in which we live.

Throughout all that varied work, one theme rose and was repeated over and over. Updike’s great subject was the American attempt to fill the gap left by faith with the materials produced by mass culture. He documented how the death of a credible religious belief has been offset by sex and adultery and movies and sports and Toyotas and family love and family obligation. [...] He viewed the material culture of American life with a benign, appreciative ironic eye. But he had no illusions, either, about its ability to cover the failure or wish away mortality. His 1996 novel “In the Beauty of the Lilies” [...] makes this almost schematically apparent: the death of American religion is matched by the rise of American movies.[...]

One has a sense of someone who—as much as, though with more wit than, Andy Warhol—has spent a good deal of his life liking things. Women’s clothes, their hair, the hybridization of American accents; the way that the hyper-cold of the airline baggage compartment can be felt like a secret in the bag as you unpack—all these images and moments, recalled at random from his work, are not just reported but quietly rhapsodized, registered with love. It is his affections that rise, and that we recall.

nonniversary

five years ago, i wrote on a walgreens valentine's card (the tear-off kind you gave and got in fourth grade - i think this one was WWF-themed): "love is for suckers!"

the best advice i've received over the past few months is that there are no rules (i think i got this from benjamin button, but still).

my valentine this year is this dress. i'll have to save two unemployment checks to buy it.

playlist 1

lost, near sanchez x 21st street

one great thing about getting lost in san francisco is that you will come upon amazing gorgeous vistas (like this one, at left).
on another note - i cannot believe i got lost between here and toast! FU google maps. i shall only trust my native's instinct from now on.

chai: "you know what they say about people who make complicated snacks"



giada's chicken and avocado napoleons

what i should have said was nothing

i've been talking about this for days: comic mike birbiglia's bit in last month's episode of this american life. i was literally laughing out loud. check it out, it's act 2.

i'm going to start blogging again now that i'm unemployed. i plan to stay away from whining, feeling sorry for myself, or gloating about doing things working stiffs can't do. just notes from someone who has a lot of free time during the day, let's say.

so first note: the winter sky around 4:30 to 5 p.m. - absolutely gorgeous. kind of a crystal blue-grey that just looks cold. something i haven't seen in a long time.

-don't watch the food channel when you're hungry. i think most of have figured this out a long time ago. goes hand in hand with the rule of not going grocery shopping when hungry. when you watch giada cooking 'california light' while feeling like you need to detox all the cookies and PUMPKIN PIE! from the holidays, you end up devoting yourself to a recipe that is way too ambitious and time consuming and not nearly as tasty or satisfying as say, the minimalist, who i completely j'adore. have you seen his recent piece on things to have and to toss in your kitchen?

-while the streets are less crowded with cars, there is a ton of street construction going on in the city during the daytime. and senior drivers. maddening.

for your own good winter:

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

laurie: yo
i made u a presetnt
http://bacolicio.us/http:/macabasco.com
me: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
laurie: LOL
me: HAHAHAHAHHA
laurie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me: HAHAHAHAHHA
laurie: HAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHA
me: HAHAHAHHAHA
laurie: did you die?
me: i died


FIN.

our secrets sleep in winter clothes



one of a few songs that i couldn't get out of my head on my last-min. trip to the philippines over the weekend. owen serenaded me with it with his guitar from the back of his car in greenpoint, brooklyn, for my 25th birthday (i was in the front seat). i had never heard it before and thought he wrote it himself. he has a surprisingly sweet singing voice, something most people may not know about him.

other songs i couldn't get out of my head:
-"fido your leash is too long," magnetic fields
-"all or nothing," o-town (there was karaoke at my grandma's house, natch)

two new tagalog words i learned over the weekend: "bukas" (tomorrow) and "mabuti" (i'm fine)

my 16-year-old cousin has a one-month-old baby girl named nesle (pronounced like 'nestle' - it's her mom's name spelled backwards)

my 10-year-old cousin diana had a birthday and we all gave her money. she racked up 54 american dollars - and in this economy!

my sister is now a melatonin addict, thanks to mikey, our dealer

i managed to escape without one mosquito bite (probably too much alcohol in my blood) but i predictably ended up with a cold. i am counting down to when i can take this medicine and be dead to the world...

cary tennis can take your breath away. this one's good.

'it's a salad that tosses itself'

Seoul
Originally uploaded by tangents01

got a preview of the new academy of sciences!

spotted on the N
- white woman, grey hair, ethnic-looking bag, reading one-day old ny times
- young black woman, brown glasses, black sweater over grey sweater (with white bearded dude in sweater vest and grey sauconys), reading oscar wao
- white dude, sloppy hoody and tee shirt, reading data modeling essentials
- tall, thin white chick, in yoga pants, fleece top, and pristine nikes, with timbuktu bag, reading women's health
- young asian dude, bald, glasses, reading zombie survival guide
- young asian woman, short hair, keeps looking around, reading two-day old ny times (me)

blogging from casa macabasco -

spent the day boating with the family and then cleaning for a few hours my old junk that i left here since the move to the maxi pad. by old, i mean like from since i was born.
i've been doing it sporadically on weekends for the past month, since steve left. i promised my parents i'd clean one thing each time i was at their place. the whole time it's been a strangely intense emotional experience. like i find scraps of paper with itineraries, packing lists, questions for interviews, notes to self, etc. (i am and always have been a major writer-downer, which is why i still have a planner instead of a palm or itouch).
today i cleaned a huge amount of stuff. i used to be one of those sentimental types that kept everything as mementos. there were tons of photos of friends that i no longer speak to (or care to), short stories i wrote when i was in elementary school, a report i did on isabel allende, a report on the california miners that had a cover page watercolored by me (?), ticket stubs, museum maps (who keeps this stuff?), a pair of leather pants (an unfortunate fashion decision), photos from so many formal dances that i want to dump but will keep for now, mix tapes, metro cards from everywhere, team sweatshirts and warmups from my basketball days, birthday cards, notes - jesus. i found a notebook with a five page letter to a guy - written on one of those long solitary flights where all you can do is wallow in your loneliness and the mistakes you've made - that i never summoned the courage to send and couldn't bear to read now.
god who needs a nap?

marisa's wedding!

QUOTH CHAI
me: "how's andrew awkward"
chai: "he has no energy on the phone"
me: "neither do you!"
chai: "yeah but I GOT GAME!"

beer olympics photos...NEED I SAY MORE

fuck good charlotte and pop punk, but i gotsta give props to joel madden for calling out starlets who can't dress for shit. and mind you, all of these are supposed trendsetters. STRAIGHT UGLY. i've said it before, and i'll say it again - FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WEAR LEGGINGS. i'm NOT about dressing to please men, but come on, ugly is ugly. he even kind of clowns on his baby mama, nicole richie, in a nice touch.

photos from steve's goodbye bbq

also - LITTLE BRITAIN USA!! why did i never hear of this until now??

LEDE OF THE YEAR (so far)

The No. 1 need right now for some of the builders of the nation's next spaceship: Lots of No. 1.

Space program contractor Hamilton Sundstrand is seeking urine from workers at the Johnson Space Center in Houston as part of its work on the new Orion space capsule that would eventually take astronauts to the moon, according to an internal memo posted on the Web site Nasawatch.com.

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can't remember if i've mentioned this before but the new yorker fiction podcast is my main motivation to go to the gym. the stories are always so great, and the analysis insightful. it's kinda a mix of dial-a-story (oh childhood!) and lit class discussion. get yer act together, this american life! anyone else think it's totally fallen off of late?

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photos from hyphen party: here and here

I GOT A LOWER BACK TATTOO

yep, that's right. TRIBAL DESIGN.

ok fine i lied. it's a metaphor meaning that i'm totally into lululemon, aka the new tramp stamp. laur tipped me off to a sale there last fri (she is SERIOUS about sales - she texted me about the $1 old navy flip flop sale last weekend at like 10 a.m.), and instead of happy hour, i got drunk off some gear with bamboo threads in 'em (supposed to have cooling properties).

i'm totally off of shopping for clothes for work or going out - i'm all about spending cash on workout clothes. ali says the only thing you'll catch her working out in is an APAture t-shirt and basketball shorts, but i think considering how much time and effort (structuring my schedule, eating healthy, etc.) i put into this whole being fit thing, might as well look good. and apparently there are real gains from changing your workout wear - i wore one of the tops to the gym last night and met my personal goal. awesome! and got totally scoped by the dude next to me. not so awesome. he was not hot.

another bon mot of ali's from our conversation about LL today was that she called it cameltoe heaven. yeah, yeah.

EAT IT, DRI-FIT.

on a final note - one of the writers i work with occasionally really pissed me off today. she's a lawyer and, i gotta say, is on a total power trip. i wouldn't back down to her in an email thread, and she actually called me to bitch at me about my edits. i was almost amused - but she kept interrupting me. which was like - wow, really? fine, dude. whatever. i was just perusing irene's blog and i kind of love her attitude about life and people - to wit: bad things goin' happen. bad people goin' happen. don't let it get to you. this is a great attitude to have.

...and the writer was a hardcore clinton supporter. NEED I EVEN SAY MORE?!

TEAM HYPHEN

how nerdy do we look?!??! this was post whiffle-ball loss (i scored a run!)

photos from mikey's bday
yeah that's my parents' magic mic.
i still have bon jovi's "always" stuck in my head, thanks a lot hao

when bad lighting happens to good people....

from the CAAM party at poleng

Gloria: I had a bizarre dream last night with you in it

you had a really cute new haircut

Sent at 1:05 PM on Tuesday

Gloria: anyway, more interesting was your knit dress

might have been inuit made

it was white knit with a hood, above knee

and there were penguins on it!

then you turned around and you had a penguin backpack

you were going on about what a great deal you got

YESSS

i went to the gym near work today instead of my usual gym, and i met one of my exercise benchmarks for the year!! sometimes it's good to break out of the routine and see what you are capable of. i know this sounds trite, but i'm really thrilled.

YES — JESUS

on the N on my way home i saw a dog wearing a shirt with an "I Voted" sticker on it.

that's pretty much how i feel about the primaries.

yea, i thought that was lisa at first.

irving street

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issue release party photos here and here


where are the ones of our crew? anyone?

SUSHIMI
new story for hyphen on apa young adult books up on my clips page (the pdf link doesn't work yet, click on the jpgs)

anyone else sick of the rain? i gotta get some more stylish rain gear, my bright yellow costco raincoat aint cutting it downtown

we went to see the warriors last night ("lisa doesn't like sports," said steve the ass who KNOWS i used to play basketball - and we did play one-on-one once at the RSF, don't you wish you were there) - have to say, it was pretty ghetto - not to be all highbrow, but you could smell weed everywhere - plus the guy behind me yelled "HOMO!" at a guy from the nets when he airballed a free throw - i had to laugh out loud; who says that stuff anymore??

anyone look familiar?

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE
... .COM!


the new 'say hello to my little friend!'

I DRINK IT UP!

the UN: so '70s, said chai

is everyone else ready to curb stomp 2007? what a shitty year.

photos from game night at casa de jericho. will have photos from NYE whenever robot gets around to it, so maybe 2010.

FOR POSTERITY

Minnie: like did she put food in there

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speaking of putting food in someone - from monument to masses on saturday (see post from two years ago)!

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i'm outing steve - he loves to watch love actually around christmas

DEAR NYC

MISS YOU

love,
lisa

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it has come to my attention that some do not recognize the fremont troll from the seattle photos from ten things i hate about you. see here.

RANCH
anyone else see the "i love new york 2" with the RANCH DRESSING fountain (a la chocolate fountains)? i seriously gagged when i saw it. basically, the suitors had to cook ny a meal that included a cup of ranch dressing since she loves the stuff. DISGUSTING!!


i just found this photo searching for the ranch dressing fountain. it elicits the same emotions.

but yeah this coming from the girl who zeroed in on the one and only m&m cookie at the holiday party today...

HALLOW

the tenenbaum boys, pumpkin, man, son of man (in front of mission bar)

in front of lingba - kimora, i'm practicing your pose for next year

JA

to the true puzzle folks out there, i give you the times' country club puzzle. i recommend printing it out and spending half a day at work doing it. it's hard, but will give you a real sense of accomplishment when you have been beat in five games of scrabulous (don't even get me started...).

NORTHWEST FOTOS

pike place market

space needle and gehry's experience music project (i played the drums!)

steve in the car of his dreamz (tho we couldn't figure out how to turn the inside light on and had to keep pulling over and opening the door to read the map at night - LAME)

seattle art museum sculpture garden
cool red chairs

biking in stanley park, vancouver
see i'm athletic, sheeeeit

lily pond on our bike ride

supposedly the best lattes in vancouver

agent provocateur storefront

one of many apts that steve took a photo of (there are tons of new apt bldgs in vancouver)

the fremont troll (who lives under the bridge). who remembers this from ten things?

that's rain on his shoulders, not huge bird droppings or something. and yes that is a vw bug he is mashing in his hand!

"IF THE DEMOCRATS WIN THE NEXT ELECCTION, THIS IS WHAT BIN LADEN'S GOING TO BE DOING..."

I ATE MY TEN YEAR OLD ME'S DREAM LUNCH

it was spaghetti mixed with curly fries, and it was glorious.

welcome to my new traffic from facebook. yeah yeah mall madness, etc.

PLUMP FUCKING JACK, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

PROTECT YOUR PINS

this was certifiably one of the worst summers i've ever had - i won't detail all the bullshit here, but sufficed to say IT SUCKED. this proclamation comes on word that $3000 total was stolen out of my citibank accounts last wednesday morning by some enterprising person from a branch near my office (that i have never been to). WHAT THE FUCK. i have no idea how this individual got a hold either my card (which i have now and to the best of my memory have always had in my possession) AND my pin number. now i have to put freezes on my credit scores, file a police report, etc etc FUCKING KERFUFFLE RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i will say tho the citibank folks are extremely nice about all this. also lest you think i am careless about my numbers, i have always been super protective of my bank information/pin (since my sister went thru identity theft a few years ago) - i shred everything, i am paranoid at atms, etc - FUCK