honolulu, march 2003

oh man. the sky opened up to me this morning at 6 a.m. driving into the city. it was creamy yellow and shiny blue and there were no clouds to interfere. the commuting cars streamed quietly into the city via the bay bridge, and i had visions of coffee. such a beautiful sight.

You're France!

Most people think you're snobby, but it's really just that you're better than everyone else.  At least you're more loyal to the real language, the fine arts, and the fine wines than anyone else.  You aren't worth beans in a fight, unless you're really short, but you're so good at other things that it usually doesn't matter.  Some of your finest works were intended to be short-term projects.
Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

roads
in hawaii, i stuck my nose in julian barnes' talking it over, and there's an interesting distinction made in the story, between falling in love and being in love. you see how falling in love is different from "the chase"? i hate it when people say they love "the chase" -- it sounds so vulgar and void of emotion. i feel like the chase delineates the hanging out, the "i'm breezy" phone calls, and the "it's not a date" dates part, the "do you like me?" bit. who could really like prefer that part of it? sure, it's an essential component, but it's also so juvenile, so middle school, like eating animal crackers before your soy sauce soaked tender veal cheeks. falling in love is different from the chase. it's the time of discovery, of "firsts," of having to be near each other all the time, of being perfectly content to lie in bed all day and chat, stuff that slips away after a while, when you settle into the comfortable and somewhat complacent "being in love" phase. the "being in love" phase definitely has its perks, but i think overall i prefer the falling in love part the best out of everything. it only happens once in the relationship and for a finite amount of time, which makes it all the more sweet.

it's a weird feeling, being able to see the end from the beginning. relationships are supposed to be full of promise starting out, but i think there's also a sense of fatality there, an unshakeable feeling that the end (as inconceivable as it seems) will be bloody or at the very least turbulent. there is no modern romance.

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an interesting read: the politics of the lonely crowd

flurry of updates before i'm off to pass out for a minimum two hour nap so i can be sufficiently awake and coherent before getting faded tonight at scott's:
- i'm going to be in dc mar. 25-28 and then nyc mar. 28-30, and would love to meet up with anyone in the vicinity of those areas at those times
-going to see the yyys next tuesday at the fillmore (read the interview and see why karen o is my idol)
-still waiting to hear from one more grad school, but it's a real reach, so it looks like i'll be off to maryland come june
-hawaii pics to come

off to hawaii for a week. be back next wednesday. it's a tough life, i tell you.