does anyone else read this besides orlando bloom???
sad to say, but the birthday/christmas/new year season was nothing more than a consecutive series of mildly fun saturdays in december. i just couldn't get into the spirit of anything this year. i think it had to do with the fact that i ignored christmas until i arrived in sf on dec. 19, and by that time, it seemed way too late to drum up any sentimental feelings about the past year or being back at home with my family. things just didn't coalesce the way i thought they would this month. i guess that's what happens when you have expectations, as i used to preach to freesia.

so i'm a big grinch. worse, i don't even have antipathy towards the holidays. it's just a feeling of malaise, of ehh. i haven't felt this way in so long. it was nice to be home, but just nice. not fabulous, wonderful, etc. it's ironic that i'm slipping back into my cynicism when i'm back at home instead of in hardhearted nyc. i'm actually looking forward to getting back to nyc. at least there i'm too busy to think about how unhappy i am. i know i should be thinking about how grateful i should be for so many things at this time of year, but i guess i'm way too self-involved to see the glass half-full.

alright enough whining, i guess. but if i can't vent on my blog, then what is it good for?

pics taken by owen on my birthday:

STEVE YAKKED INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S GARDEN
but he says he was a pro. spam kimchi fried rice is still hella good at ramen house even though it has new owners. stupid phoogie, says laurie. i think his last name's macpainter, though. laurie is macclicky. who's his former student she wants to kill? bill! steve says: thank you, kimi! the food in the opening credits of napoleon dynamite (dy-no-mite!) correspond to the cast member. the four stages of "yeah": 1) what? 2) yeah! 3) okay! 4) yeah! kimi and ali say: all guys like thongs. king dong's dinner B for seven is not bad. going to stonestown to promenade around. the life acquatic is okaaaay, but no royal tenebaums or rushmore. steve's hair is long now. i'm crossing my fingers that it will look like orlando bloom. shleepy!!! all you're good for is stupid. me: ok, do you know what you're supposed to do with the bubble wrap? steve: yeah. pop it one by one!

cry into your christmas cake, don't know what else to do
ah, holidays.
overall it's been pretty nice to be home. the weather is GORGEOUS -- every morning i walk out of the house and say, "damn! so warm!" it's nice to feel sun again, and not have to bundle up when i go out. my friends were complaining about the cold last night, and it was like 50 degrees out. i love it!

had an extremely successful shopping day yesterday (mostly stuff for me), plus i bought some gifts off my mom and sister that they weren't going to give (and i might have regifted a few gifts :P). we went to milk on haight w/frees, ali, margotbot, kimi, braz (aka old man luxury), braz's friends, kat and rich. they had $4 champagne specials for the night, which margot and i were all about. the champagne came in these little red bull-like cans with a straw. nice. at milk they were playing a movie on the screens above the bar that was a very 80s-new york-breakdancing movie. at the end there was a chase on the subway tracks and then a fight and both of them died b/c they fell onto the third rail.

we left milk around midnight and went to mighty, this club in potrero. it's a cool club w/a good looking, mixed crowd, and damn people could dance there. ali, margot, and i all snuck in for free (kimi: "just go, go!") and so we didn't have to pay the $10 cover. it was nice to dance and i miss the sf party crowds (NOT the azn ones). i want to have my next bday there. or maybe this year's bday. it's not too late, right?

going to eugene's party at lit lounge tonight after xmas dinner w/the same crew as last night, anyone else want to join?

email of the day
angus is a bespectacled canadian thom yorke-ish fellow classmate that my roommate has a crush on.

From: Kiera
Date: Wed Dec 22, 2004 08:24:03 AM US/Eastern
To: Lisa
Subject: Re: thanks

I thought I saw Angus, but it turned out to be just a little girl with glasses carrying rolling luggage.

view from bethany and steve's apt.

california, i'm coming home

look who got the cover story this week...

i can't take my eyes off you
i went with my roommates and saw "closer" tonight.
oh my god.
it really gave me a visceral reaction. it's a movie about the relentless brutality and viciousness of love. not the vague broad concept of relationships, but actual love. it's about simultaneously loving and hating someone and yourself, about hurting those you love, and above all, how sex is the ultimate and only weapon in the game of love. it reminded me of the darkest depths of love, shining light on the shady corners of your mind where you can't trust the one you love and you can't trust yourself to do the right thing.
it's a tough movie to watch, no matter what your relationship status is. my roommate lisa walked out and said it made her feel relieved for once that she was single. i couldn't decide if i'm lucky to have someone i love or if i'm ultimately fucked because nothing ever works out happily.
the movie's point is that love is filled with anger, violence, and betrayal. that where you feel most safe is where you are most vulnerable and can experience the most pain. it's for anyone who has cheated, or been cheated on, been hurt, or hurt someone. and i know there are a lot of you out there.
i rarely get a chance to really think about love anymore. i've been hurtling along at breakneck speed for the past year (can you believe it's been a year almost?), and especially the past four months. and for the most part, it's been a string of ecstatic moments. i might have lost sight of my pessimism for the moment.
now that i consider it, sex in the movie might be a metaphor for any act that can hurt someone -- lying, hitting them, cheating, etc. it's all the same. you can give someone your else body, but it's no more or less hurtful than giving them your heart.
i used to believe that no matter how it turns out, good or bad, love is always worth the experience. the movie reminded me that the bad parts can be really bad. but i guess that's how you know it's really love.

so three of the five guys in my RW1 class complimented me on my marc jacobs shoes at our party last night. how crazy is that? and they're all straight! although, i must admit, i had my doubts at first.

one of the most frustrating things about journalism is that your power to make substantive change is so much more limited than if you did direct organizing. because stories are always so focused on what is new or recent, the bigger picture is always absent. and i'm fairly obsessed with bigger picture type stuff. for example, almost every story you'll read about chinatown in nyc is about 1) gangs 2) sanitation 3) underground economy stuff -- knockoff purses and bootleg DVDs. see a trend here? it's all related to illegal activities or breaking laws. it's 2004, and chinese neighborhoods are still shrouded in this aura of illegal activity. and it's not entirely the fault of the media -- it's also the fault of the system's inability to offer better opportunities to these people. it's like we're still in the 1860s when chinese were shut out of all other labor fields b/c of racism and only "allowed" to work in laundries. today the system shuts these people out of the economy and they are forced to do whatever they can to make it, and most of the time it's what's considered "illegal." and the whole knockoff purses and bootleg dvds brouhaha is so infuriating b/c it's so insignificant in the larger scheme of things. who is really losing out? louis vuitton? kate spade? as if the majority of people who buy fakes could even afford the real thing, so how are these huge retailers losing customers? and don't nypd have better things to do anyways? apparently not.

so i just bought a new clock radio in hopes that the radio part will better help me wake up, and i asked steve if i should program it for a music station or NPR, and he said he'd do NPR: "there's a lot of bad music out there. i mean, can you imagine how much it would suck to wake up to the strokes?"

best wipeboard post ever

"Memoirs of a Geisha Guerilla," SF Chronicle

**i highly suggest you read the entire article -- it's very good.**

Tsuchitani saw the exhibition, but is unpersuaded. "For me, it was the museum's choice of using that image and the presence it had in the visual landscape of the city," he says. "It's a loaded image in our culture -- perpetuating the imagery of the sensuous Asian woman, the Asian mystique of the East. It's constructing an idealized 'other,' and for what purpose? While the exhibit may have tried to deconstruct that image, the number of people who actually had their minds changed can't compare with the number of those impacted by that image."

almost....there.....
apparently more people read my blog than i think, so i guess i will update to satiate the masses.

so what's been new. i officially have no more real deadlines for this semester. whoo! it was hard work, i tell you.

i've been making money by temping for steve's work, so i can buy myself something nice from h&m for the holidays. :P some things will never change. it's really cold here in nyc, but some days are milder than others. no snow yet. i look forward to thursdays and sundays, when there is an outdoor sidewalk farmer's market 114th and broadway, and they sell the best hot mulled apple cider ever for only $1. mmm. yum. oh my god, dennis was right. i am bougie!!! fuck.

what else. i'm on a major soon doo boo obsession right now. i must have had it at least 5 times in the past two weeks. it's just so good and warm when it's cold out, AND it's good for you.

i've been going out a few times with the j-schoolers, and i've realized i'm not the man i used to be. a few drinks, and then i've got this headache, and i have to eat something, and then i have to pass out in my clothes on my bed at 9:30 pm. seriously! it's happened twice now. i just can't handle the alcohol like i used to. hopefully it's just a side-effect of the cold weather, and i'll be back to my carousing self in the bay area ;) whatever happened to the shit-talking-ramen-craving belligerent drunk i used to be? steve says it's cuz i'm getting old.

i guess i should say something about the people who have been teaching me and influencing my work here. after much finagling and an unbelieveable meeting with the dean, i've had the great fortune of switching to a new master's advisor. i don't want to write her name here for fear of her googling her name and finding my blog (LAME) but she's really great. she used to write the media column for the village voice, and she also used to work at the new yorker. she's really patient and helpful and supportive, unlike my old advisor. my life is so much easier now. i've also been paired with my very favorite writer from the village voice through aaja's mentor program. i can't wait to meet with her, and she's been very helpful already. i think i'm going to learn a lot from these great folks. my professor for my elective is also really great. i used to call her "yoga lady 500," but now i really respect her. so, as my advisor told me today, it seems i'm surrounding myself with the right people.

that's about it for now. i've got a ton of holiday/birthday/end of semester parties to go to in the next few weeks. whoo!

favorite quote of the night out with the j-schoolers
"hey, i'm an oppressed palestinian! .... anyways, what i really want to do is work for entertainment weekly."

iTunes picks:
"see you soon," coldplay
"this fire," franz ferdinand
"rip it up," razorlight
"turn the lights off," tweet feat. missy elliott
from a basement on a hill, elliott smith

steve's pick (and perennial favorite)
"easy (like sunday morning)" lionel richie

last weekend, steve and i actually had time to do something together that didn't involve stress, my apartment, the new york times, or koreatown. we did one of those typical new york things that we rarely get to do. we bundled up and took a walk in central park.



it was great. it was too late in the season to look at fall foliage and too late in the day to enjoy any sun, but it was lovely all the same. the ice skating rink is already up, and it was packed.



we each had the worst pretzel in the history of pretzels and an unsatisfying bag of nuts. i don't know why i always forget, but central park really has the worst food. definitely bring your own. we trekked through the horse poo-lined walkways and ended up at the plaza hotel. we were in awe of how pretty it is in there -- lots of flowers, chandeliers, and mirrors. by the way, remember that Paris movie theatre from the first episode of the fifth season of sex and the city? where carrie goes and watches a movie by herself? it's right next to the plaza, and it really does show romantic movies, but current ones.

anyways, i know people used to say that i always take pictures of things and none of people, so here is one for you.

heaven!

email of the day
from my roommate

From: Kiera
Date: Thu Nov 18, 2004 05:12:58 PM US/Eastern
To: Lisa
Subject: Re: MUTINY!

what the fuck is k-town?

message from the dean of the j-school

Someone left a Nautica jacket (tan with purple(?) collar) in the deans’ suite yesterday. Winter is coming. If you notice that you’re really cold and your shirt or blouse is blowing in the wind, ask yourself, “where is my jacket?” My assistant has the item.

Take Action!

Abortion Non-Discrimination Act (ANDA)

In spite of what the name might indicate, this legislation does not protect women seeking abortion services from discrimination. Instead, it would allow any health care provider or institution (not just religious entities) to refuse to provide, pay for, or even refer for abortion for any reason. Supporters of this bill claim this is a matter of religious freedom.

With the reelection of President Bush, the conservative right has claimed it is the moral majority in this country. But we know there is nothing moral about preventing women's access to needed health care services.

Speak out against the federal refusal clause and help women maintain access to needed medical services.