packing for berlin and london - anyone have any tips for things to do??

thanksgiving weekend infatuation: SomaFM's Indie Pop Rocks (opens in iTunes)

i don't know how to say this. one day, i woke up and i saw a part of myself i had never seen before. you can think of it as a third eye, a third arm, a patch of bright green skin, a furry tail. it was new, it was strange, it was unknown, unexplored. i thought, i want to tell my good friends about this. then i noticed, they were all gone. i was filled with sadness and regret and longing. i thought, i must tell my family about this. but they were gone as well. i missed them, and i remembered all the warm times, and the times they cared for me when i needed them. and i spited myself for all those times when i was too selfish to care for them when they needed me, to do small but loving things for them when they so obviously were reaching out to me, in their soft, noninvasive way, the way they did it that i knew and recognized. i thought of my parents, who i know so well, who i know by the sounds of their footsteps on the hallway and how they close the bathroom door, and how i could not tell them this. but i bit my lip and said, i must explore this new part on my own. it is what must be done, and i must do this alone because i am alone.

so i went. i was afraid. but i knew i would not be hurt, i knew i would be safe. it took weeks to explore, but i was thorough and careful. i took notes, drew a map and kept careful files. i said, i must bring order to this place where there is no order. we fear only what we do not know, so i must know this thing, this place. when i was younger, i looked to others to help me think through my problems, to get a general opinion on matters. now i did not need others to do this. i was very proud of myself.

but i was still scared. so i began to speak. i learned to say words i had never said before, words that sounded strange and harsh, and words that meant things i did not want them to mean. i spoke, but then i began to think, am i speaking too much? does this make others uncomfortable? it seemed to. they brought their own interpretations and expectations to my words, and i did not like that. it was as if all along i had been saying "AAAA" and one day i said "ABAA?," and the world stared at me confused, and said, what? oh no. no, you meant "AAAA." so i just went back to saying "AAAA." i stuck to the script. i became very small and unintrusive, so others would tell me about their lives, and i would ask appropriate questions at appropriate times and with appropriate inflections and facial movements. and i think they forgot i ever said "ABAA," or maybe they wanted to forget i said it, or maybe they thought that is what i wanted. i became awash with other people's concerns and lives, and i thought, this is right, this is appropriate. i went back and explored my new space by myself again.

i thought about god, briefly, and what it meant that he had given me this new part, or if i even believed he had done so. was it a test, was it a sign, was it part of his plan? i realized it was best that i was a lone explorer there, because it was part of me, and it was something that no one else could ever experience in the exact way. so it must be done alone, ultimately.

i was not wholly alone. one day i looked down and there was a hand there, in mine. and i appreciated it, and i loved it. but i looked at it, and i saw it was afraid too, and it knew less about my territory than i. so in the daytime i explored alone, and at night, i came back and it fed me sausages and cheeseburgers and root beer, and spaghetti-os, if i asked for them. and i was happy, because i knew i needed this nourishment in order to have the strength for the next day's explorations. but i knew these expeditions would always be alone.

it is not so easy to be brave. to explore new parts of yourself alone. to say words you have never said before that mean things you don't want them to mean. but it just must be done.

more wedding pics

here is a teaser of the official wedding photos

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at the hyphen party on friday, there was a pretty rockin' local apa-fronted band called lovelikefire - check them out, they are good!

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so some of you may know of my enthusiasm for asian tv channels, by which i mean AZN and Imaginasian - a lot of the programming is actually entertaining or thought-provoking.

one of my new favorite shows is 'party guide for an urbanite' on Imaginasian - it's an asian american queer eye - BRILLIANT.

the other two shows i recommend on AZN TV are asian street comedy (best of edition), which is apa sketch and stand-up comedy, and ivy dreams, a reality show about asian am high schoolers who want to get into the ivies (RIVETING).

yesterday, at bargain matinee, my parents saw borat - or as mamabasco calls it, 'bor-AHT.'

mama fell asleep and papa didn't like it. she says: "not my age group."

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also, for future ref: it was like a longer pap smear after two glasses of wine....

ah mysterious postings!

TOO FUNNY
you must listen to the part where they read the nursery rhymes...

FUN WITH CHAI AT MR. SMITH'S
last night was the most surreal chai night ever - first, she could not stop bopping along in her seat. this means doing the fists-chugging movements to every song. steve began to do the exact same move, and it was very odd.

second, she called another girl a FOB. i laughed out loud that CHAI called SOMEONE ELSE a FOB. but she said, "it takes one to know one."

third, chai recommended the new gwen stefani song to me, saying it was quite danceable. CHAI RECOMMENDED THE NEW GWEN STEFANI SONG.

finally, alex and mike's theatre group performed, and afterwards, while chatting with alex, i heard this exchange:

chai: "so, had you licked mike before during practice?"
alex: "no, only tonight when i got into character."
chai: "and the cum? what did it taste like?"
alex: "oh, that was yogurt."
chai: "ah, but was it salty?"

at which point i screamed, covered my face, and ran away, screaming, "WAY MORE THAN I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT CHAI!!!!"

(for the record, chai insists she asked about the salty-ness because of mike's sweat.)

one other thing i learned about chai - she is coooollllddd-blooooded. her friend was totally stuck talking to this weirdo dude, and chai refused to bail her out even though she knew her friend was uncomfortable!

it was quite a traumatizing night for all, with the sight of alex's bare chest, alex whipping mike, mike simulating copulation on alex (with happy ending), and alex licking fake cum off mike's face. i will post pics when i get them. i think jericho summed it up best after seeing that sketch: "man, moss men is over."

this is so weird - my sister is a blogger! and she is highly entertaining without intending to be. plus she has FAQs and pics!

this is my favorite line from this post:

HOT, COLD, HOT, COLD. WTF?

WE CRASHED DIFI'S PARTY

here are some pics from naascon, where we stopped by while in chicago - i was on a young professionals panel organized by james -





here is matt, the managing editor of hardboiled - can you believe it's the tenth year of hardboiled??

look.
read.
now listen.


hyphen's newest issue (#10--THE MUSIC ISSUE) is on stands now.
it's time to celebrate with some of our favorite asian american bay area musicians.

join us for a night of movement, magazines and music.
with dj's politik and modest mark .

—featuring—

native guns
marque
mud
lovelikefire
and a special dj set by kero one.

friday, november 17th. 9-2a.
@111 minna gallery

$10 ($20 with subscription at 50% off list price!)

chicago pics!

minnie's chicago recap here.

check out laurie and mike's new york blog - too cute.

look at how spot-on alan is dressed as buckwild from flava of love!!:

CFW SUMMIT 2006 - CHICAGO

travelling used to be so glamorous - now all we have is this:

I DREW MIKE'S NECK TATTOO




more pics from that party here

pics from jamie's party here and here

pics from pumpkin carving

i scanned a PDF copy of my hyphen piece for my website - non-PDF versions are also available on the 'clips' page (i'm working on it, cut me some slack)

new part-time job - i'm managing interns and doing some editing...also have a few freelance writing gigs going on. it's good to be back in the field i want to be in. sadly, i won't be able to fulfill the dream of living completely on unemployment (tho it did treat me and steve to dinner last friday).

saturday we had a yummy brunch with rtfm at the pork store cafe - i had the chorizo omlette, which was good but kind of intense, and i only ate half. it was super nice out, yet steve and i had nothing to do, so we rented roller blades next to the in n out in fisherman's wharf and skated down the embarcadero. i only fell once! but my ass still hurts like hell. after skating, we had delissssssshis chicken wings at hooters (per margot's recommendation). i don't think steve looked at me once while we were in there. our server was named autumn and i don't know if that was her real name. also, did you know they wear nude stockings?!

saturday night we went to medjool, and it was a gorgeous night. the rooftop bar is always obscenely crowded, so the trick is - get (a few) drinks at the bar on the ground floor, then bring them to the roof. yes, it's four flights up, but so worth it. medjool is such an odd bar - it's like the marina transplanted to the mission. lots of good looking white and asian folk, young, well-dressed. there is also a cheap garage on 21st street, so no worrying about parking. i think this is veering into yelp territory, so i will move on. we ended the night with some cross-fade action and NIZARIOS. YUM. i was thinking about margot and the genesis of the cross-fade. MARGOT COME BACK TO US.

sunday laur and i went to the capsule sf fair in hayes valley, where i bought some overpriced accessories, and overheard a euro-ish guy say: 'this is SO hayes valley.' which it was indeed.

a story i wrote got cited on wikipedia as a reference!!!

Why Aren't We Shocked?

The New York Times
October 16, 2006
By Bob Herbert, Op-Ed Columnist

"Who needs a brain when you have these?"
- message on an Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt for young women

In the recent shootings at an Amish schoolhouse in rural Pennsylvania
and a large public high school in Colorado, the killers went out of
their way to separate the girls from the boys, and then deliberately
attacked only the girls.

Ten girls were shot and five killed at the Amish school. One girl was
killed and a number of others were molested in the Colorado attack.

In the widespread coverage that followed these crimes, very little was
made of the fact that only girls were targeted. Imagine if a gunman
had gone into a school, separated the kids up on the basis of race or
religion, and then shot only the black kids. Or only the white kids.
Or only the Jews.

There would have been thunderous outrage. The country would have first
recoiled in horror, and then mobilized in an effort to eradicate that
kind of murderous bigotry. There would have been calls for action and
reflection. And the attack would have been seen for what it really
was: a hate crime.

None of that occurred because these were just girls, and we have
become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny
that violence against females is more or less to be expected. Stories
about the rape, murder and mutilation of women and girls are staples
of the news, as familiar to us as weather forecasts. The startling
aspect of the Pennsylvania attack was that this terrible thing
happened at a school in Amish country, not that it happened to girls.

The disrespectful, degrading, contemptuous treatment of women is so
pervasive and so mainstream that it has just about lost its ability to
shock. Guys at sporting events and other public venues have shown no
qualms about raising an insistent chant to nearby women to show their
breasts. An ad for a major long-distance telephone carrier shows three
apparently naked women holding a billing statement from a competitor.
The text asks, "When was the last time you got screwed?"

An ad for Clinique moisturizing lotion shows a woman's face with the
lotion spattered across it to simulate the climactic shot of a porn
video.

We have a problem. Staggering amounts of violence are unleashed on
women every day, and there is no escaping the fact that in the most
sensational stories, large segments of the population are titillated
by that violence. We've been watching the sexualized image of the
murdered 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey for 10 years. JonBenet is dead.
Her mother is dead. And we're still watching the video of this poor
child prancing in lipstick and high heels.

What have we learned since then? That there's big money to be made
from thongs, spandex tops and sexy makeovers for little girls. In a
misogynistic culture, it's never too early to drill into the minds of
girls that what really matters is their appearance and their ability
to please men sexually.

A girl or woman is sexually assaulted every couple of minutes or so in
the U.S. The number of seriously battered wives and girlfriends is far
beyond the ability of any agency to count. We're all implicated in
this carnage because the relentless violence against women and girls
is linked at its core to the wider society's casual willingness to
dehumanize women and girls, to see them first and foremost as sexual
vessels - objects - and never, ever as the equals of men.

"Once you dehumanize somebody, everything is possible," said Taina
Bien-Aimé, executive director of the women's advocacy group Equality
Now.

That was never clearer than in some of the extreme forms of
pornography that have spread like nuclear waste across mainstream
America. Forget the embarrassed, inhibited raincoat crowd of the old
days. Now Mr. Solid Citizen can come home, log on to this $7 billion
mega-industry and get his kicks watching real women being beaten and
sexually assaulted on Web sites with names like "Ravished Bride" and
"Rough Sex - Where Whores Get Owned."

Then, of course, there's gangsta rap, and the video games where the
players themselves get to maul and molest women, the rise of pimp
culture (the Academy Award-winning song this year was "It's Hard Out
Here for a Pimp"), and on and on.

You're deluded if you think this is all about fun and games. It's all
part of a devastating continuum of misogyny that at its farthest
extreme touches down in places like the one-room Amish schoolhouse in
normally quiet Nickel Mines, Pa.

so i'm reading the sf chronicle piece on edison chen, and i'm thinking, 'mmm hottie hk-ny-canadian actor/designer/mogul = YES.' PLUS, hello, 'the asian ashton kutcher'? who can resist?

then i saw his blog and now all i have to say is

................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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in unrelated news, please pick up the newest issue of hyphen as soon as possible (it's the music issue, with a south asian woman in a white dress with a boombox on her lap on the cover) - my master's project is the main feature and it looks great! also i finally got my face and bio on the 'contributors' page, which many of you know has been my goal in life (FAME). ROUND FACE - EXPOSED!

CLASSY ASS DINNER
pics from black tie dinner + cocktails at lounge arguello

more dinner pics


with superstalked hellen and jamie


with jamie (drinking a manhattan - note plastic highball glass!) and tan


with biff, eating handmade pasta and pizza by steve


glassy eyed