top reasons i feel like i work at wernham-hogg
1) the day the publisher announced there would be layoffs happened to be halloween. of course, some people were dressed up, including my co-fellow, who was dressed as a troubled teen. while everyone sat there somberly in shock, he sat there with blue runny eyeliner, slicked back hair and baggy clothes.
2) "we have a problem with the VIP mugs." there are these mugs that are kept in the office kitchen that are for guests, but they're also available for everyone to use. however apparently they're never there when guests visit, so every time that happens, the HR person sends out a very serious staffwide email with the above line. she sounded so exasperated in the last email that she called for suggestions about what to do about The Problem. TPS reports, anyone?
3) other reports of missing items sent to the entire staff include a missing bowl ("please return it - no questions asked") and a missing coat hanger ("why is this OK?" he wrote).
4) the online editor is paying me a decent hourly rate to transcribe some of his interviews. i'm working on one between him (a brit) and an international law expert (another brit). they're using some phrases i don't understand ("cottoning on," "whistlestop tour," etc.), which is fine, but this is the kicker: in asking a question, he actually said, "what sayeth you?"

WHAT SAYETH YOU.

make no mistake - i listened to it three times. maybe he was saying, "what do you think?" or "what's your opinion?" NO. he said WHAT SAYETH YOU. and he did NOT say "what say you?" because that shit's ungrammatical.

so the question is: do i write "what say you?" and risk him catching me trying to correct his odd british foppery? or do i transcibe it faithfully and risk looking like a total asshole about it?

why is life so difficult?