i'm going to seattle july 21-23 for this conference! just found out they're giving me some monies to go. AND i'm gonna stay at our apt. in seattle that i've never stayed at alone. whoo! anyone want to keep me company?

funny thing at the office today: our kiwi managing editor is introducing a new copy editor to the interns. he says, "this is L, J, and A." then spotting michael around the corner, he says totally deadpan: "and over there is michael...who is wearing a dashiki of some kind." i had to hold in the LOLs. m, a white-ass white boy, really does wear these funky ethnic shirts all the time. too funny.

this is a great blog with snippets of conversations around the bay

where are you on the political compass?

here's mine:
Your political compass
Economic Left/Right: -7.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -8.05

has anyone read "the art of war"? is it worth reading?

more importantly, how cool is it to be called a "viciously sarcastic Mod"?

(by the way, if you don't want to have to watch the sal0n commercials, just type in: http://www.salon.com/news/cookie.html, and it'll put the cookie in your browser.)

this shit is real! it's like "which marginalized group appeals most to white people?" model minority olympics.

also, i enjoy how the writer thinks Andrea Wong should have been disturbed that the Asian family was the first eliminated because she is Asian Am.

short article in this week's asianweek:

Wong Committee Celebrates Victory

one last thing - if there is any one thing i've learned in my adult life, it is that when people casually say "oh, i have to talk to you about something," drop everything and find out what it is. because it's good. oh how good it is.

t.g.i.f., bart edition
bart moment of the day: older chinese woman with frizzy curly hair (you know the type) hocking up loogies on the train and spitting them into a kleenex. i threw up in my mouth a little.

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first thing my dad says to me when he picks me up from the station: "loo-ter died."
me: "what? who's loo-ter?"
him: "loo-ter. loo-ter vandross."

and you thought smoothies were something californians drank for lunch.

i heart blow out!

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minnay - i listened to da vinci code in nyc but finished the last five chapters in the book version.

bot - make me deviled eggs!

expect to see lots of people drinking coffee from baby bottles on the subway.

nicky hilton is dating firecrotch!

social anxiety disorder

breaking out of the home-work paradigm, and it's good. went to a bar last week, and i was the only one who forgot to pre-party! wtf. not to be all "new york," but we don't do that there. drinking is part of being social, not the means to an end. we also went to that old throwback el rio last night, got way more drunk than expected on cheap liquor, but what a way to go on a drizzly monday night. the night ended in breakfast and that's always a good sign.

today i bought some limited edition spam with cheese. when i told the CFW, they both screamed, "EW!" i also made minnie's pizza. had a small diva moment when i couldn't find the sun-dried tomatoes in safeway (oh my lord, who am i??). but it was good. even macpainter liked it! apparently we have a pizza stone, which i'll have to use next time.

finished the da vinci code this weekend, about five years after everyone else. currently listening to "my life," narrated by bill clinton. it's pretty good so far! currently (really) reading "blink." thin-slice this, beeyatch!

i got a new cell phone, but i'm gonna return it. i fear technological change.

i'm trying to get to the gym but keep getting stymied by work and fatigue. BUT i am eating 10 vitamins a day - 2 vitamin c and 3 echinacea (for my sore throat/cough); 4 calcium (for PMS symptoms); and one one-a-day (for good measure). man read this paragraph again. i'm so fucking "cali." or as minnie would say, i have to go eat my salad and drink my blended fruit drink. fuck.

does anyone else read slate and get totally mesmerized by that ad for the swimming tread machine?

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i have broken down and checked out some rilo kiley. le sigh, in the words of botmackdaddy.

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long-lost love: pirate cat radio, 87.9 FM (listen live through the site)

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new challenge: deviled eggs!

ps minnay- i will try your pizza recipe this week.

hipsters with asian fet.

No. 2: "[The album is] certainly not racist, I mean, if only mostly because everybody in the band has a thing for Asian and black girls."

the article (link above) is actually the type of article i would write, if i were ever a music writer. annoying sexist indie rockers must be mocked, mercilessly.

who wants to shop at american apparel now?

In his marketing, Charney has been adept at weaving his libertarian sexual attitude with his progressive labor practices. But it's another matter to make that attitude a bedrock principle of the workplace. In their sexual harassment suits, two of the women accuse Charney of exposing himself to them. One claims he invited her to masturbate with him and that he ran business meetings at his Los Angeles home wearing close to nothing. Another says he asked her to hire young women with whom he could have sex, Asians preferred. All describe him using foul language in their presence, much of it demeaning to women. Says Keith A. Fink, an attorney for one of the women suing: "The work environment there makes Animal House look like choir practice."

good article on the class series in NYT and WSJ. nothing that new (social mobility impossible, rich give money to other rich, etc), but some interesting facts.

today i am proud to be a friend of the margotbot.

WEEKLY POLL
who has ever heard of the phrase "fire crotch" and knows what it refers to?

comment here! (you can even be anonymous)

talking to my coworkers about celeb sightings in nyc, one of them said he saw julia stiles at a party:

"i wanted to be like, 'yo, julia, why don't you get with THESE styles?'"

la bot was full of quotes tonight, so i had to put this one here instead of in my profile:

"did you friendster him? or did his party vibe seek you out? his yellow power connection to you?"

also kimi: "its just like prom...but we cant tell ali...she'll make fun of us"

reporting live from somewhere
a friend of mine from columbia just sent this out about his experiences in alabama. it's rare to get a non-white, non-black, non-American (he is singaporean) view of the south, and his observations are interesting and telling.

Apologies for the mass mail, but I said I'd send a proper update since school ended, and if I haven't mentioned it, I spent over a week in early June in Alabama reporting thanks to a grant. I managed to get out of the Deep South in one piece. I was in the thick of a white supremacist (the Council of Conservative Citizens a.k.a. the 'Uptown Klan') rally and protest against the Southern Poverty Law Center, where 50 marchers draped themselves in Confederate
flags and sang Dixie. All at the heart of where the Civil Rights
movement began, and barely an hour after I'd been to Dr. King's
barber.

I'd gone in search of a story on how some activists were working for a
moratorium on executions and the challenges they faced. The state bar
association wanted to publish a booklet on the pros and cons of a
moratorium on the death penalty, and the attorney-general's office
refused to write the section on cons so the project had to be dropped.
I spoke to a death row inmate, exonerees (one after 18 years),
families and attorneys, and it was plain shocking how capital cases
were still handled in this day and age - drunk and inexperienced
attorneys, prosecutors hiding evidence, forced confessions, the works.
Alabama is the state with the highest per capita rate of death
sentences handed down, and it's not over with the execution/s - Grace
Singleton, whose mentally retarded son Cornelius was executed in 1992,
still wants to right the record. Her son, IQ 57, confessed to murder
while his girlfriend was sitting on his lap. She was excited to read
about the trial of the men involved in Emmett Till's murder 50 years
before that she wanted to clear her son's name before she died. Oh,
she also wants to get on Oprah to help her case.

Two blocks down the avenue facing the state Capitol, a man was
painting the Ten Commandments on slabs of stone. I stop to chat, we
get round to the death penalty, and he wishes he'd brought along his
concordance as we spend a half hour flipping through the Bible looking
for passages that justify the death penalty.
But that Sunday, I was shocked to hear the pastor at Dr. King's old
church slam missionaries for having wreaked as much damage as military
force had, destroying whole cultures and civilizations. He criticized
congregants for not speaking out against this travesty, war included.
And watching the local (baseball) team, the Montgomery Biscuits, at
the ballpark, the cultural significance of "three strikes, you're out"
finally hit me.

A local talk radio host found me at an execution day vigil, and I went
on his talk radio show on Radio Montgomery for two hours, where
redneck "hang 'em all" legislators and flaming liberal "we're still in
the dark ages down here" pastors called in, and talk (I only had under
a minute to report what I'd discovered before being interrogated) went
from caning and flogging (like in Singapore) and hanging/lethal
injections to the Downing Street memo. Anyhow, 'Bama is an experience
I'd highly recommend if you get a lead or story or any excuse to
travel there.

losing the taste
my whole family has started eating healthy - no more greasy, oily, or fried foods; not too many sweets; nothing overprocessed; nothing creamy; nothing with lots of carbs. we must be the only asian family that has completely replaced white rice with brown rice. the house is stocked with fruits and veggies and soy everything.

and accordingly, the food is really tasteless. low-fat mushroom sauce cannot replace cream of mushroom. steamed fish is nothing next to fried fish. my appetite has shrunken to nothing because i cannot bear to eat this bland food - my appetite is on strike. usually by the time i'm full, i'm also so depressed at having to eat this food that i can't bear to lift my fork or chopsticks anymore. i can only look forward to ice cream after dinner or my usual daily chocolate bar that i buy from the deli across the street from work.

obviously, my dissatisfaction with my cuisine is a metaphor for my life back at home and in san francisco. it's bland. it's boring. i only look forward to one or two exciting weekend events, the "dessert" to the days and nights that i wander through. it's only been two weeks, but my daily routine has already become a well-worn path. i can't enjoy anything that i used to love - the weather, the picturesque scenery of san francisco, the cozy architecture, the distinct neighborhoods. i hear myself criticizing everything and truly unable to find anything besides the glass half empty. most of the time, i'm simply too tired to leave the house. work gives me a good reason to get up in the morning, but only distracts me until 5 pm, when i run out to...what? nothing. another bland meal, another early night, another boring day.

yay for lowell alumni!

it only took me two and a half weeks to unpack all ten boxes and six pieces of luggage, with surprisingly few casualties (one mug, two bowls - always ALWAYS use bubble wrap). missing in action: one bra (i suspect the airport baggage inspectors took it). the mcbsco house is busting at the gills, esp. since now macpainter, aka brown man, is back. and yet i still keep shopping...it's the curse of working downtown.

so true, so true


You are Trisha.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

currently corrupting my new laptop with:
the woods - sleater-kinney
be - common (esp. "the corner" and "they say")
gimme fiction - spoon
picaresque - the decemberists (esp. "the bagman's gambit," "the engine driver," and "the mariner's song" - if only i could tell stories such as these!)
"til kingdom come," coldplay (i'll not partake of the current coldplay-lash, but this is one of the only interesting songs i've heard on the new album - a johnny cash song)
"Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games," of montreal (try saying that when you're stoned, a la bot)
naturally - sharon jones and the dap kings (takin it back to 1960s r & b, smooth as a baby's ass)

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fyi, i've added a headlines feed from modelminority.com at the bottom of the page

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chinatown demands more than an apology from the niners
--

now that i found this website, i don't have to go back to new york at all

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sadly, this is not a joke

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things i'm having problems with
-not being flaky
-not feeling sleepy at 9:30 pm
-not missing steve-o
-bonding with my co-interns
-feeling productive at work
-figuring out how to stay warm in the freezing office
-sneezing fits first thing after i wake up in the AM
-feeling like coming back to sf was a mistake
-feeling like i didn't work hard enough in grad school
-finding a parking space near the bart station
etc.

highlights of haight st. fair

-sunburned back - i think my skin is in shock from so much sun
-crazy sausage guy who laughed like a maniac after giving us our foot-long sausage
-seeing so many old friends from high school and middle school

post-it notes
lin: i'm so glad you're OK.

bot: congrats on your graduation!

minnay/kimora lee: i will post pics of the shoes later.

steve-o: hope you're enjoying yourself ("it's a celebration!") in houston, call me when you have a chance.

minnie i got your package today! hella fast. this was my favorite part (besides the dylan part in your note):



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bougie interlude:
prada shoes, $30 at DSW (80% off)



if only i could save that much every day.
---
pics from coney island

my favorite part from today's sfchron profile of a girl from my high school:

She had little interest in the boys at her school, saying most are "not much fun. They're the nerdy, booky guys or are the gamers who spend 24/7 on the Internet."

so true. so true.

check out my latest article (on bay area newstands now):

Philly Approves Chinatown Charter School

on this day in stanford radio history
12:06 am: "Margot is here, and, wow. She is like totally stoned. I've never seen her lke that before." - DJ before the Bot on KZSU

just wanted to post something interesting i learned about while working on a story last month - racist hate vs. racist love. here's the article by frank chin from modelminority.com.

yes, it was me with jared leto

Was walking in Soho near Prince St. yesterday (Saturday, 6/4) when who do I see but Jared Leto, shaved head and all. He gave a somewhat hobo-ish vibe, as he was nearly fully reclined on the steps next to that outdoor Adidas store. He was in the company of some punkish, hipstery brand of Asian girl who definitely thought she was too cool for school. He was still hot, though- I nearly melted from our brief moment of direct eye-contact.

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also, check out alice's cool pics from the brangelina premiere

things i hate about sf
1) shitty ass cold, windy, rainy weather - IN JUNE
2) at night it feels like it's february in new york
3) eating lunch at my computer
4) seeing someone i know every day to/from work

12:50 pm: i just thought of something wonderful - chris martin and gwyneth paltrow's daughter, apple martin, is just one letter away from being "apple martini."

!!!!!!!!!!

how did i miss heath?

Memorial Day I saw Heath Ledger walking down Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint. Didn’t think too much about why he was in Greepoint because I was overrun with bravado thoughts that I could kick his ass…he’s just a little guy.

the new fiona apple album "extraordinary machines" leaked on the internet. download it. love it.

blogging from my new ibook!!!!

did anyone else see that MTV show "once upon a prom"? RJ, there is a filipina on there who looks EXACTLY LIKE YOU! i tried to find a picture, but couldn't. just try to see it.

welcome back to sf
where each day is exactly like the last.

Today: Sunny. Patchy morning coastal low clouds and fog. Highs in the 60s along the coast to mid-80s inland. West winds 5 to 10 mph. Friday night: Clear. Patchy late night coastal low clouds and fog. Lows in the mid-40s to mid-50s. West winds 10 to 20 mph, becoming 5 to 10 mph after midnight.

Saturday: Sunny. Patchy morning coastal low clouds and fog. Highs in the 60s along the coast to mid-80s inland. West winds 5 to 10 mph increasing to 10 to 20 mph in the afternoon. Saturday night: Clear. Patchy late night coastal low clouds and fog. Lows in the mid-40s to mid-50s. West winds 10 to 20 mph.

Sunday: Sunny. Patchy morning coastal low clouds and fog. Highs in the 60s along the coast to lower 80s inland. Sunday night: Mostly clear. Patchy late night coastal low clouds and fog. Lows in the mid-40s to mid-50s.

new favorite thing about the office
a little plastic box next to the sugar packets for coffee where you're supposed to recycle the sugar packets after you've used them. oh you crazy hippies!

heart attack of the day
i almost broke the copy machine on my 2nd day of work doing the only thing i've been assigned thus far. luckily, armed with a letter opener and my skinny fingers, i fished out the offending piece of paper before anyone noticed.

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my favorite part of the office so far: the shower in the faux-italian-villa-walled (complete with faux cracks in the orange walls) bathroom.

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overheard conversation by two co-workers yesterday:

her: "oh my god, i have to bring you to this great vietnamese place around the corner. it has the best pho [pronounced like 'foh']."
him: "man, i don't like vietnamese food. it's got too many tendons."

two big things going on in sf right now related to the apa community:

- a 49ers in-house video features a bucktoothed caricature of a Chinese man

- Japantown community outraged over plan to build a Starbucks there

someone's finally calling american apparel out on their objectification bullshit!

email subject from steve:

tootoo too tooo tooo too dadadadda

the "saving face" post
OK, the "saving face" hype has to stop RIGHT NOW. the movie sucks. all of it. the plot, the acting, and the filmmaking. i guess it's decent for a first-time filmmaker, but this movie isn't breaking any rules or pushing any envelopes. if you want to see a well-made film about gay asian americans living with the stigma of LGBTS in the apa community, see "the wedding banquet" instead.

pics from the graduation boat cruise

also, i bought a fast pass today! i haven't bought one of them since i was in middle school. and it was only $45! and i can use it on bart! i love the bay.

internship: day one
9 AM: i have to be in the office by 10 am. my mom's warnings echo in my ears: "DON'T BE LATE ON YOUR FIRST DAY!" since i'm taking the bus downtown, and i'm driving to the bus stop on san bruno, i leave about 45 minutes to get there.
9:15: i hop into my car, a little behind schedule, but i can make up the time.
9:16: my ole reliable civic makes a grinding noise when i turn the key. it's a pathetic little whirr that sounds far away. nothing happens.
9:17-9:20: more whirring, and i start to sweat and curse.
9:21: "motherfucker!" i scream at the car, and run down my hill, and the next EIGHT blocks to the bus station. in my business-casual-first-day-of-work outfit. luckily i was wearing flats.
10:00 sharp: i get to the building on market street right on time, thank the lord. hmm, that's strange, the entire front of the building is covered in scaffolding. i check the letter i got about the internship once more, and, yep, i'm in the right place. well i guess they're doing some renovating. i go up to the sixth floor, where i see the magazine's sign. but the entire office is dead silent and empty - no furniture, only walls and carpet, and a hefty construction worker looking at me strangely. man, i guess they are more low-budget than i thought. i briefly consider that the staff are pushed away into the back somewhere, but then i realize, no, it's not here. i call the number on the letterhead, and hold myself back from screaming at the receptionist, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS????" she says they're at sutter street, and the intern meeting has already started. i run the three blocks to the office, and arrive 10 minutes late, waving the letterhead with the old address at the intern coordinator.

the day couldn't have gotten any worse, and thank god, it didn't. the other three interns are nice. most of the people on staff are from berkeley's j-school, or are about to go there. the office is really big and nice, and everyone seems decently good-natured and relaxed. i already got my first assignment: photocopying.

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all hail audiobooks!

---
from the onion:

Entire Napoleon Dynamite Plot Pieced Together Through Friends'
Quotes
AUSTIN, TX—Although he has never seen the 2004 indie hit Napoleon
Dynamite, Michael Osman, 23, has cobbled together its entire plot
via his friends' endless quoting of the film. "Well, Napoleon's
brother said, 'Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with
babes all day,' and then got a visit from his Internet girlfriend,"
Osman said. "Then Napoleon told his Uncle Rico that he could make
120 bucks 'in like five seconds,' and went to work on a chicken
farm. Then Napoleon gave Trisha a drawing, said, 'It took me like
three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip,' and asked her
to the dance." Osman added that he has a pretty good idea what a
liger looks like.

bye new york!

graduation pics!
full album here

here is me getting my diploma! (my sister says i look like a ghost)



minnie and bethany at the ceremony



steve with his fifth plate of food at the reception


laurie pigs out, too



champagne makes me happy...


but too much gouda makes me crazy!



can't...



stop...


eating!


me and steve in front of the journalism school


minnie, me, bethany



me and mom



me and frootz



the whole family (mom's still eating)



steve strikes a pose with his tote



my sister was obsessed with steve's tote bag (see mother grabbing her son away from scary tote-toting man!)



and his butt



she stalked him down the block (she was pretty drunk)



me and my XXX-rated softshell crab

IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?
last night's menu at cafe 3B in greenpoint:

guest list: min-nayyy, dianne the crazy kitten lady, sharon the rhinestoning wonder, steve "tfa overtime crusader" chung, bethany

appetizer: wine (riesling), cheese (blue), cookies (samoas)

main dish: chicken curry with vegetables over sticky rice

dessert: cookie dough ice cream and brownies

entertainment: michel gondry videos and chappelle show season two (the wayne brady sketch is HILLAHHRIOUS - as chappelle's son would say in reference to nick cannon)

re: star wars - my favorite was darth chocolate.

i tried to like it. i forced myself to absorb slate's idiot's guide to star wars, and so i even understood what was going on. but it was just uninteresting. i wasn't even impressed by the special effects or whatever. i think dave sums it up best with his metaphor about a disappointed woman.

"konnichiwa, bitches!"
chappelle show season two!!!

also, does everyone know that he has an asian wife?

i graduated last wednesday, fyi! pics to come.

on friday i went to chelsea market, where i had yummy good thai food. highly recommend it, although it is out of the way. that's also where the food network offices are and emeril's show is taped there, AND i saw the host of double dare standing around. i also went to PS 1, which is a modern art museum in brooklyn that is in a converted primary school building. some of the art is pretty rad, some of it is not. after that, i went to see kings and queen at lincoln center. it was really good - hard to categorize and describe. you just have to see it, i guess. steve and i had overpriced burritos in the LES and then went home and watched 28 days later on dvd (it was great!).

temporary obsession: the da vinci code, illustrated version (i know, i finally succumbed to the da vinci hype)

saturday steve and i walked around union square area for a long ass time then made meatballs and spaghetti and bbq chicken pizza (frozen) at home. macabasco's meatballs strike again! around midnight we headed out to happy ending with bethany for a birthday party. happy ending is a bar in chinatown that is housed in a former massage parlor ("happy ending, get it?" - steve). the storefront is the same as when it was a "health club", and the tiled sauna rooms downstairs are still in tact. i liked that place, the crowd was really mixed. the music kind of sucked (who plays "we will rock you?"), but there were some hottie dudes of all races. uh huh!

i'm getting pretty down about leaving nyc in a little bit over a week, but i'm trying to console myself by saying that i will definitely come back in the future. i'm really gonna miss this place, as much as i hate it sometimes. :((((((((((

i am leaving new york may 31, and starting at MJ june 1. see you all in the bay!

hello world! mgotbot made me go out with the j-schoolers and now here i am. yay! where is my spam?

watching britney and kevin's reality show makes me
-nauseated because of all the close-ups and shaky camera action
-want to rip my eyes out of their sockets
-think britney acts like a 13-year-old girl
-wish i were watching 'newlyweds' instead because jessica simpson is way less annoying and almost endearing by contrast

baghdad by the bay

check out this site that tranposes a map of bombings in baghdad over a map of san francisco ("baghdad by the bay"). click on "baghdad san francisco" on the map, then click on san francisco after the next map pops up. pretty interesting. here is more info:

Paula Levine's Baghdad <> San Francisco imagines the effects upon San Francisco, had the bombs which fell on Baghdad been destined rather for the American city. The project references GPS technology, physical spaces, associated histories and the Web.

A mapping of the first US attack on Baghdad, in March 2003, is superimposed upon San Francisco. The sound heard is from the same event. The longitude and latitude of each bombsite in SF is marked using a GPS device, the same technology used to target site in the Iraki town. These sites are mapped, chronicled and documented with photograph of what's currently at these locations.

Caches are also placed at each GPS location containing project information and the names of US soldiers who died in the war since May 1, 2003, the date President Bush declared: "Major combat operations in Baghdad have ended."

Baghdad <> San Francisco is the first project of the Shadows From Another Place series of hypothetical mappings which use GPS to imagine the impact of cultural and political changes that take place in one location upon another.

Part of the HTMLles festival in Montreal, May 18-21.

see pics from our party on saturday

as much as i love gawker, they need to shut the hell up with their mocking of the journalism school. it's so uncreative and obviously out of jealousy. i mean, she actually went through her rejection letter line-by-line. have some dignity.

see their photo essay of the launch of one of the magazine workshops' publications. by the way, the blonde in the sixth photo really is that gorgeous. it's almost distracting. and you may see her tomorrow @ my party!...

sunlight makes me paranoid


be not afraid! there is sunlight in my room for the first time since i've moved here.



meaty goodness:

see minnay's blog for details.

on a more sober note, see my website for the Filipinas story and other choice recent bits.

RIGHT HERE, AT 2:40 AM, DRUNK AND EATING SPAM MUSUBI - YOU SEE? THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. this overwhelming clarity where you see the inside of the universe and what it's all about! that's it!!!

dc folks:

forget the american indian museum - the newest addition to the national mall is this portable hand washing station!



yes, i only saw one.

check out samson's bigweirdfeelings.com, where i got in on the mystery track review fun.

come back, dave.

check out the ny times story about the chinese in paris

friday, minnie and i paid almost $40 EACH for what was supposed to be a cheap burritos-and-margaritas meal. and i had my first deviled egg!

from our dinner on the potomac, DC field trip

the pre-photo direction was "smolder!" - the photographer's caption to this was "take me now + innocent smolder + very very good smolder." i think i look more like a small child who lost her mother.

need to work on that.

i just got a story draft back from a professor, with the edit note: "I'm stumped - what does LGBT mean?"

oh, tony.

...also, if you see a copy of may's filipinas magazine anywhere, check out my article on page 18.

another salon story for your TGIF reading pleasure. those crazy pinoys!

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2005/05/06/marry_me/print.html

Till death do me part
This weekend, Kevin Nadal will marry himself. He wants to make a statement that the choice to be single is as valid as the choice to get hitched. He also wants a new sno-cone maker.

- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Rebecca Traister

May 6, 2005 | Ah May, the time of year when the New York Times' Sunday Styles section fattens up with wedding pages, and blushing brides-to-be prompt statewide manhunts by lopping off their hair and booking bus tickets to Albuquerque.

There's one guy, here in New York City, who's not about to flee from his intended. That's because he is his intended. Meet Kevin Nadal, 26-year-old "psychologist and performance artist," who, according to an e-mail he sent last week, is kicking off "the hottest new trend to celebrate single life" by "getting married to himself" on Saturday, May 7, in Manhattan. Dress is black-and-white semiformal.

Nadal's save-the-date cum press release led me to his wedding Web page, where the mustachioed singleton poses loungily in a "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" T-shirt. According to the Web site, "Friends and family are encouraged to fly into New York, in the same way that I am encouraged to fly to California or Michigan and Hawaii for their weddings ... But we won't be celebrating the love of two people; we will only be celebrating the love that one person has for himself, as well as the love that he has for his friends and family ... It's not just a party. It's my 'special day.' It's the day that a boy has been dreaming of all of his life."

Reached by phone, Nadal said that he started planning for his "special day" in January. Naturally, he was inspired by an episode of "Sex and the City" in which Carrie Bradshaw celebrates her independence by registering for a pair of Manolo Blahniks. (Incidentally, if anyone knows of a social or romantic trend that was not inspired by "Sex and the City," please contact this reporter.)

Nadal writes that though he doesn't plan on getting married (to anyone else) anytime soon (it would be a challenge in any case; Nadal is gay), he does "plan on living the wild, crazy, non-stop single life that I have been living ... remaining career-oriented, in pursuing my academic and entertainment dreams. Where is the celebration for that? Where can I register for that?"

Apparently, at Target, Amazon, and Bed Bath and Beyond. Among the many items on Nadal's wish list are a sno-cone maker, the Anti-Stress Comfort Wrap, a microdermabrasion kit, a heated eyelash curler, a Mr. Beer deluxe home microbrewery kit, a "Guys Gone Wild" tape, the book "Global Divas: Filipino Gay Men in the Diaspora (Perverse Modernities)," and a lint remover. So far he has already received a Conair Nose/Ear Hair Trimmer. "What I didn't register for was sheets or linens or china or things like that," said Nadal. "I registered for things that would be practical for me."

Nadal has what he calls a "bridal party." "I don't know why I called them 'bridal,'" he said. "I never thought about calling it a groom's party." There are a maid of honor, best man, seven bridesmaids, seven groomsmen, one (grown-up) ring bearer, four (grown-up) flower girls, a "master of ceremonies," and 11 primary and secondary "sponsors." It's enough to make Jennifer Wilbanks hop a Greyhound.

Nadal is originally from San Francisco and has been in New York for three years, getting his Ph.D. in counseling psychology at Columbia. (The "Trust Me I'm a Doctor" T-shirt is a little premature.) Nadal has also toured the country with his one-man show, "Pinoy," about growing up Filipino in the United States. He describes himself as single, but "dating a lot of different guys at the same time."

Nadal said that he's having his wedding because "there isn't anything to show that my choice to be single is just as valuable as someone's choice to get married and have a family. Before, being single used to mean that no one wanted you, that you weren't attractive enough. Now it's a choice."

Also, he's a little testy about the cash he's hemorrhaged for rental cars, plane tickets, new outfits, and gifts for all of his hetero friends' celebratory passages into traditional family life. I asked him if this self-marriage was about exacting revenge. "I love going to friends' weddings to celebrate when they do find love and have kids, because I enjoy life and they've created life," said Nadal. "But there is a little bit of resentment because they get to live this life that is perceived as normal and celebrated all the time."

But, as I suggested to Nadal, perhaps those who choose to get married or have kids are doing something worth attention. Not because it puts them squarely in some heterosexual, traditional, femme-couvert camp of Bush-approved "family values," but because getting married and having kids is -- or should be -- a serious commitment. Those who choose to do it give up their independence; they pledge responsibility and fidelity and financial support to another human being. It's a big burden to take on.

But Nadal sees it differently. "Being single is just as difficult and just as much of a commitment," he argued. "It's a commitment you have to yourself. But it's just as straining and there are just as many hardships." He continued, "What about commitment to being career oriented? Or to finding love and not settling for anything else? Or to being alone and being satisfied? Who's setting these norms of what's considered commitment and what's considered an accomplishment?"

Nadal says he expects 120 guests at the wedding, which will take place at a loft space in the West Village that was -- sigh -- the set for Samantha's apartment on "Sex and the City." Nadal said the wedding will feature Filipino and American traditions like garter and bouquet tosses and a money dance, and that many members of his family will attend, though mostly cousins and siblings from his generation. His own parents, he said, "don't understand the concept" of the self-wedding" and will not be there. Guests will be coming from Oregon, Maryland, Massachusetts, California and Michigan. The night before there will be what Nadal calls "a rehearsal outing" to a local lounge or nightclub for the bridal party. He's paying the $6,000 wedding tab himself, saving money by serving catered hors d'oeuvres and avoiding what he called "the fancy hotel thing." "My single person's wedding doesn't have to be an extravagant sit-down dinner," he said. "The most important things are alcohol and a DJ."

There won't be an officiant, but Nadal will read himself some vows. "I'll say things like 'I take me to have and to hold and love and cherish through sickness and in health,'" explained Nadal. "I'll also say things people say in corny marriage vows, like that I have found the man of my dreams, my soul mate, the man I've been waiting for all my life."

I asked Nadal if he felt like his impending marriage will change his relationship ... with himself. "I'm generally happy with myself," he said. "I hope it will change the way others view single life. Maybe those who are happy having traditional families can understand that other people might not want that life."

But what if Nadal someday does want that life? He's 26, turning 27 on the day of his wedding. Right now he might be living the "wild, crazy, nonstop single life," but what if someday he falls in love? "I am open to meeting someone down the road," he said. "Now I want to celebrate being single. If I want to get married to someone else someday -- even though it might not be recognized in most states -- I'll do it again. When heterosexual couples have a second wedding, their friends have to go to that second wedding too."

story from today's salon shows that brazil is willing to give up $40 million to reject bush's pro-abstinence and anti-women's rights agenda.

Brazil won't be bullied
The nation declines $40 million in AIDS funds from the Bush administration, refusing to condemn prostitution as required.

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By Sarah Boseley and Suzanne Goldenberg

May 4, 2005 | Brazil Tuesday became the first country to take a public stand against the Bush administration's massive AIDS program, which is seen by many as seeking increasingly to press its anti-abortion, pro-abstinence sexual agenda on poorer countries.

Campaigners applauded Brazil's rejection of $40 million for its AIDS programs because it refuses to agree to a declaration condemning prostitution. The government and many AIDS organizations believe such a declaration would be a serious barrier to helping sex workers protect themselves and their clients from infection.

The demand from the U.S. administration, heavily influenced by the religious right, follows what is known as the "global gag" -- a ban on U.S. government funds to any foreign-based organization that has links to abortion. This has resulted in the removal of millions of dollars of funding from family-planning clinics worldwide.

Tuesday Pedro Chequer, the director of Brazil's HIV/AIDS program, said the government had managed to resist U.S. pressure during negotiations on the AIDS funding to focus on promoting abstinence and fidelity rather than condoms -- another ideological battle being waged by the religious right. But the U.S. negotiators insisted that the clause on prostitution had to stay.

"I would like to confirm that Brazil has taken this decision in order to preserve its autonomy on issues related to national policies on HIV/AIDS as well as ethical and human rights principles," Chequer told the Guardian.

Campaigners congratulated the Brazilian government for its stance, and voiced concerns that the declaration on prostitution could damage efforts to tackle AIDS among sex workers in many countries. Jodi Jacobson of the Center for Health and Gender Equity in the U.S. said that, unlike the global gag, the declaration on prostitution looked likely to be imposed on U.S.-based organizations as well as their subsidiaries abroad. The office of Randall Tobias, the global AIDS coordinator who is responsible for spending the $15 billion President Bush promised for the fight against AIDS, was working on the language to be adopted, she said.

"Any organization receiving U.S. global AIDS funding will have to agree to the policy," she said. That would include charities as large as Care, Save the Children and World Vision.

"It is a hugely problematic policy from the standpoint of public health alone. It goes against the entire grain of public health principles in not judging the people you are trying to reach."

But Sam Brownback, a leading Senate conservative, told the Wall Street Journal: "Obviously Brazil has the right to act however it chooses in this regard. We're talking about promotion of prostitution, which the majority of both the House and the Senate believes is harmful to women."

Most U.S. AIDS funding goes directly to organizations working in the field, and much will be channeled through faith organizations that back the no-abortion, pro-abstinence and anti-prostitution stance of U.S. conservatives.

But the Brazilian government has strong HIV/AIDS policies and insists that all negotiations go through its own committee. It also has a strong partnership between governmental and nongovernmental organizations, which encouraged a united response to Washington.

"This would be entirely in contradiction with Brazilian guidelines for a program that has been working very well for years. We are providing condoms, and doing a lot of prevention work with sex workers, and the rate of infection has stabilized and dropped since the 1980s," said Sonia Correa, an AIDS activist in Brazil and co-chairwoman of the International Working Group on Sexuality and Social Policy. "The U.S. is doing the same in other countries -- bullying, pushing and forcing -- but not every country has the possibility to say no."

Adrienne Germain, president of the International Women's Health Coalition, said: "The importance of the Brazilian government's decision can not be overstated."

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big ups to hardboiled for winning best undergrad publication this year!

or, as minnie's 11-year-old sister would say - PROPZZZZZ.

melobster

me + lobster 4 eva!

props, as minnie's sister would say

my life is now complete - i got a mention in gawker!

steve asked me to put this in:

last night -
me: "can you turn off the light?"
him: "goddamn you!! i just got all tucked in!!"

Princeton Incident Shows Extreme Case of Asian Fetish

reading dancing with cuba has made me want to 1) go to cuba and 2) take up modern dance. as you can see, i'm highly influenced by books. but i think i really will try to do both this year. just started readng my prof's book first there is a mountain, which is about yoga in india, so who knows what fancy will strike me next...

it is really neat to read books by your profs, especially when they are memoir-ish, b/c profs are usually so mysterious and detached. i have so much more respect for her since reading this, and i wish i had listened to her more when she taught!

my computer is really on its last legs. a virus ate my address book last night, so i had to spend an hour this morning putting everyone's info back in. but i only had the email addresses of people who were in my inbox, so everyone else won't be hearing from me soon. or ever. blahhh.

on a happier note, i made pancakes this morning! and i'm going to see the basquiat exhibit in brooklyn later today.

i'm going to be in dc saturday night thru tues. i can't remember fun things to do in dc!!! help!!!!!!!!!!! looking for: food, bars, museums, food, shopping, food...is c-town express still not so good?

i'm done with school.
new york is boring.
blah blah blah blah blah.

i fully intend to post at length about how muthafuckin cool the japan society's current exhibit is, so look forward to that. also need to update on: sin city and kung fu hustle.

in the meantime, here are some words of wisdom for you ricemakers:
1) one cup of water per one cup of rice (i've abandoned the knuckle-technique, sorry macpainter!)
2) rule #1 does not apply if you are using a microwaveable rice cooker. in this case, use about 1.25-1.5 cups of water per cup of rice.

optional: just make steve cook his own damn rice!

went to boston for the weekend to visit the visiting frootz. boston is boring! who agrees? but i did get to drink screwdrivers in boston common, watch most of "mommie dearest," do a duck tour, eat a lobster dinner (on frootz), and check out the isabella gardiner museum, which i highly recommend.

saturday night came back to the city and got my prada shoes all freaking wet going to adam's and dave's parties. it didn't stop raining all night. i'm trying to go out as much as i can before i leave. had a head cold the next day and stayed in gp and slept the whole day, missing the passover/matzo ball soup party at my apt. :( steve made yummy ass salty korean fish and rice, and surprise, he didn't choke on a bone this time.

habemus internship!
i've been offered a four-month internship here. back to sf in june!

about my mom's fibroid:

lilbadfarts (5:34:17 PM): its the size of an 11 weeks baby
lisa n the sky (5:35:05 PM): IT'S THE SIZE OF AN 11 WEEKS BABY!
lilbadfarts (5:35:13 PM): fetus?
lisa n the sky (5:35:18 PM): yes fetus
lilbadfarts (5:35:23 PM): ok fetus :-)
lisa n the sky (5:35:28 PM): good god there is a difference
lisa n the sky (5:35:35 PM): !!!!
lilbadfarts (5:35:37 PM): LOL

THIS SHIT IS BANANAS

lisa n the sky (4:29:14 PM): how was l.a.!
xSgtMeatx (4:30:33 PM): good!!!
xSgtMeatx (4:30:35 PM): hella fun
xSgtMeatx (4:31:03 PM): well actually the first day was mostl at minnie's friend's work ahhha. but we ate at roscoe's chicken and waffles
xSgtMeatx (4:31:14 PM): and went to the mall right next to his work
xSgtMeatx (4:31:15 PM): hahhaa
xSgtMeatx (4:31:21 PM): and bought hella shit at v.s. and express
xSgtMeatx (4:31:45 PM): at night, we ate the the new giant robot restaurant (not that good...i think they shoudl have an asian am menu like spam shit)
xSgtMeatx (4:32:03 PM): picked up chai fromthe airport, then stuffed our faces at hella good and cheap korea bbq in k town
xSgtMeatx (4:32:30 PM): then "cruised" around and jin made me cat call people from the front seat
xSgtMeatx (4:32:40 PM): thougth i chickend out at most, i made one hahha
xSgtMeatx (4:32:54 PM): saturday, we were supposed dto go with jin to work to buy $3 clothes, but we were too tired
xSgtMeatx (4:33:04 PM): so her mom bought us lunch, thenwe went ot venice and santa monica
xSgtMeatx (4:33:20 PM): we were supposed to do a latin american themed nite for her bday
xSgtMeatx (4:33:24 PM): but with traffic, etc.
xSgtMeatx (4:33:37 PM): we ended up doing noneof theat. we went to this gross rest. in d.t la called the pantry
xSgtMeatx (4:33:50 PM): then wen to this "euro asian" club called hwite lotus
xSgtMeatx (4:33:58 PM): $20 cover!!!!
xSgtMeatx (4:34:03 PM): then wentto denny's

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MARGOT???

xSgtMeatx (4:36:20 PM): it was la
xSgtMeatx (4:36:21 PM): all la

i love the j-school
the last line of an email from a classmate about a party at his place:

Well, I hope to see you all on Saturday, and if not, go to hell.

a classmate last semester sent his piece to the class for editing, writing with it: "god teach me to write fast."

i kind of scoffed at that at the time, but today, dear god, teach me to write fast.

if anyone has a clogged sink or shower, steve wants me to endorse clr pressurized power drain cleaner. it fixed his shower drain like new. he also wants me to point out that it is sold out on the walgreen's link above.

yes, live-blogging "the bachelor"
is anyone else watching the bachelor right now? yes, the bachelor with brother of jerry o'connell? there is actually a girl on the show who is wearing one of those hot-pink-terry-cloth-pregancy-type tops. but it gets worse. she wearing the top with one of those clear plastic bra straps. and it doesn't end there. IT'S A HALTER CLEAR PLASTIC BRA STRAP!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH is anyone else witnessing this?

i love new york in the springtime
what a gorgeous weekend. 70 degrees, sunny, wonderful. after ditching the j-school's job fair after one horrendous 9:20 saturday morning interview and one meeting where the recruiter didn't even show up, steve and i went down to check out the david lachapelle exhibit at deitch gallery in soho. it was very cool - there were huge slide projections of his photos on a wall next to a few of his actual photo sets. downstairs they played music videos directed by him on a loop. i like his work - he likes boobs! a lot.

then we walked around sunny soho and ran into the bluefly store - hella cheap! $10 jeans, $25 dresses, etc. not that much selection when i went though. walked up to union square and read on a bench, enjoying the sun. the streets were packed; all of new york was out this weekend.

sunday we got yummy h & h bagels on 80th and broadway and ate them on a crosswalk island bench. they make you spread your own cream cheese yourself! sucks, but the bagels are really good. we decided to walk over to central park (on the way, i swore we passed by the house from when harry met sally where harry freaks out about the wagon wheel coffee table and then they have a fight in front of the house). central park was beautiful, and we watched all the white people rowing in the rowboats and witnessed a black couple having a serious talk about their relationship while the boyfriend had his ipod earphones on the entire time (!).

we decided to go back to greenpoint, get some beer and snacks, and sit up on the roof in the sun. it was great. we then passed out into a drunken-sun sleepy nap front of the TV, woke up at 9 pm, went on an unfruitful search for brownie mix, bought ice cream at uncle louie g's, and steve made chicken nuggets over pasta while i watched cold case (which was hella good! anyone else see it?). we stayed up until 3 am watching the office and eating cookies and cream. it was a great weekend.

cookiegate!

two exciting things today -
1) i had an internship interview with this publication, which went really well.
2) kiera called my outfit "the epitome of preppy-punk." i can die happy now!

everyone can breathe easy - it's OK to eat at taco bell now.

REJOICE YOU FOOLS...sayeth yu-gu-oh.

it is 70 degrees in new york, and all is right. columbia has nothing on berkeley in nice weather - where is the bear's lair to have a few pints at 2 pm and fall asleep in the sun? where are sproul steps - with their strict hierarchy of stair levels — to sit and people watch? where oh where? all the preppy ivy leaguers play soccer or baseball. lame.

steve told me to put this in my blog.

Chinatown Bus Bursts into Flame

top ten signs laurie has too much time on her hands

i sent her a picture of a purse i bought her, and she sent this back to me, a reference to my domestic rodent problem.

after posting this, i swear i will do my story. yes. yes.

here are pics of the aforementioned lasagna and fried zucchini:

was anyone else shocked by burger king's blatant sexism?