kimi: "are you in the matrix?"
ali: "are you in the matrix?"

i have this long black coat from h&m that goes all the way to my ankles. it's thick, and waterproof, and comes with a detachable hood, and is sort of like wearing a sleeping bag. i bought it for about 50 quid (~$75) within the first month that i got to england. my friend jane bought the exact same one the first week we were there, when we were still at orientation in london. i thought i'd hold out to see if i really needed it. little did i know how much that jacket would be with me.

jane and i would sometimes wear our jackets together at the same time, and we'd look like the matrix, with our jackets flowing out behind us. i wore it everywhere, especially during the winter months, but also well into spring. it was the only surefire way to stay warm. for the first time in my life, i took advantage of coat check at clubs--we all wore our clubbing outfits underneath and then shed our coats once we were indoors. it was only a quid or two, and well worth it to stay warm while standing in the queue outside or waiting for a taxi.

i had never before owned, and probably never will, a coat that warm. i mean, i lived in mild san francisco, where we have one temperature all year-round--foggy. a coat that heavy is never needed. sherwynn always joked about having a coat-burning party once we got back to the states, as a way of forgetting about all time we spent wearing them, to purge ourselves of the memories of freezing cold england.

if you look at my pictures from my year abroad, the coat is ubiquitous--venice, rome, edinburgh, paris. everywhere. i used it as a blanket more than a few times while sleeping in hostels and run-down bed and breakfasts. but i also have local memories of the coat. i remember wearing it when we'd walk 20 minutes from our flats to the cinema (save our money on a cab, and faster than the bus) to see 3 pound movies (about $5--so cheap!!) or to tesco to buy groceries, which were so heavy and burdensome for the walk back (we finally got wise and brought our backpacks). i remember the cold, cold walks to the library or to campus or to sherwynn and michele's flat just across the vale. i remember eating balti with the girls, or sunday roasts, after which we didn't have to eat for the entire rest of the day. i miss full english breakfasts--fried tomato, bacon, sausage, mushrooms, fried eggs, and tea. i miss 99 pence pints, or 1 pound vodka shots, i miss blackthorn, snakebites, that cinammon-flavored shot, all the various drinks that were so goddamn cheap. the clubs where it was free to get in, or very cheap if you were a student, clubs that were swankier than any i've been to in the u.s., besides maybe d.c., but even then, the nicest d.c. club can't touch the dodgiest uk one. i miss all the cheese music that we sang along to, and the lovely british lads that could dance together in groups without it being a reflection on their sexuality. god, i miss my own room.

i actually wore my coat a few days ago to tart with ali and kimi. it was freezing cold that night, but somehow it just wasn't the same at all. here's to england, and hopes for more adventures with my long black coat.