last night by the numbers
number of:

gold chains worn: 2
pitchers of sangria consumed at cha cha cha: 1.5
times "plantains" was said out loud when the plaintains arrived: 2
women friends who would describe steve as preppy: 3
women friends who would say preppy was "not their type": 3
skateboards i walked into at milk: 1
times mike kicked me but robot thought he groped me: 1
homeless men who were chased out of escape from NY with a pizza paddle: 1
times i've seen chai barf/about to barf in the past week: 2
times alex described what i was wearing as "sluttier" than chai: 1
times chai zinged alex by saying 1/0 was an error: 1