more evidence that my mom can't handle caffeine and that my sister is an idiot
so my sister calls me today and says "dad thinks i'm an idiot."
me: "why?"
frootz: "he asked me this morning if i knew who saddam hussein was. when i said yeah, he was like, 'oh. well they caught him today.'"

tonight my mom is totally hyper after eating coffee crunch cake, and she's cleaning out her purse.
mom: "why do i have all these pens that aren't mine?"
me: "um, cuz you're a thief?"
mom: "no, no, i was a thief, was a thief."

last thing. conversation between me and i love the jokester strikes back today:
freesia, after helping tom with his med school app.: "damn, i better be getting some tiffany's out of this." *dirty look from lisa* "kidding! kidding!"
me: "it's girls like you that make me wonder why i'm a lesbian."